Sunday, January 10, 2010

from detox to council flats

so my ever lovely husband has decided he needs to cleanse his system of all the nasty toxins that 2009 produced... i tried to explain to him that he was simply old and should take half an asprin daily however, instead, he decided detoxing drinking just freshly squeezed organic fruit and vegetable juice would be the way to go. way to spell denial with a capital dementia. soooo, a delivered box of organic fruit and vegies from green line direct and a juicer from gumtree later our kitchen now smells like carrot skin and ginger.
what about me? am i partaking in the depravity and clinging ever so desperately to my sanity with starvation methods and natural sugar highs? no. i do what most girls do when they feel fat, i go for a massage and go out for lunch in the eastern suburbs where the girls are not only fatter, uglier, but also have a lesser life span and an IQ that looks more like Pi in its completion.
So until my lovely husband decides to eat a hamburger... i'm stuck with moody, headachy husband with ginger breath. so instead of being all caring and sweet and understanding (i did offer him paracetamol but apparently can't take drugs on a detox) i went to the park to read.

so again, this book is weird... anna's having an affair with vronsky... or bronsky? the one who isn't her brother... and she's pregnant, and to be honest a little la de da about it. but dude is in a horse race and she's holding her breath with anxiety. granted at the end of it he falls off his horse, horse breaks it back and they shoot it. this is another thing, two pages... maybe two and a half about his love for this bloody horse - going into details about its back and breadth and hind quarters, like specific, creepy weirdo horse lover details then it falls, he blames himself, decides it has to die in like, two sentences. tolstoy is way harsh. like bowel cancer harsh.

i also thought i'd lost my phone. but i didn't. now my music collection is safe as houses. well, tiny, small, misplace-able houses - like council flats.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

a delightful day at the beach

lovely husband and i thought a 27 degree day would be a delightful way to spend a workless day. after a conversation that went a little to the tune of how about st kilda. no there are too many english tourists how about port melbourne. how do we get there? um, i don't know - what about sandringham? yeah okay, sandringham sounds nice we could go to that cafe you like. awesome. i put my bather on and said, so did we decide on st kilda?
i'm not joking, i'm just THAT stupid.

we got into our fuel guzzling mechanics dream of a car, but, even though i knew where we were going we couldn't go anywhere until we'd turned on the sat nav, selected the route and went in the direction her little monotone voice told us. of course the useless bitch told us to go down chapel street, which thankfully for me and grumpy groans and frustrated sighs lovely husband swung a right at alexandria and down st kilda - which probably wasn't much better. but that isn't the point - the point is don't buy ANYONE a sat nav.

we got to sandringham eventually and went to the cafe, then went to another one because first was mighty useless with its offerings. see photo attached. spent a copious amount of money on magazines full of clothes i can't afford, and even if i could... wouldn't wear (seriously, marc - bunny ears?? what you thinking, sister? apart from coke promo?) sat on the beach marvelled at how white my legs were next to the golden brown sand then went home and went to bed.

in case you were wondering... haven't read any more anna karenina

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

so this is the world of blogging, eh?
Has been strongly recommended to me by people who also have opinions on everything but lacking in audience... like me, for example... i have an opinion on everything. except now, faced with a teeny tiny white block of writing space. i got nothing but, hey, maybe if i keep writing then something will expose itself. like a paedophile. or perhaps, something less perverse and illegal.
saw a movie the other day, that one where everyone is blue and super, super tall - kind of look like lizard cats, avatar! what a great film. i was so surprised to enjoy it, i just went as a favour to my husband but i actually clapped when the bad guy died. smart idea to make those 3d glasses 'fashionable'. oh god whatever.

i'm reading anna karenina at the moment for the last six weeks... my god long novel, would it really have killed them to do some editing? i must go, no! drink some vodka. but i must go, maybe i will have vodka. oh dear, we are out of vodka. nevermind, i will go. bye. bye.